Chicago Half Marathon (9-14-08)

This was undoubtedly the most disappointing race of my life. I thought maybe the race atmosphere would help perk me up, and get me back into the swing of things. I was wrong...

Elmtree picked me up around 6:05am, then we got Tizzy and headed down to the course. It was POURING rain, but other than that, things were good. I was still optimistic that maybe this was just temporary, and this race would be a big breakthrough for me. I said goodbye to Elm and Tizz, and lined up at the start.

After the first mile, I thought, "Wow, maybe this won't be so bad." The 2nd mile was a little tougher, but still not miserable. By the third mile, the wheels came off. After less than 30 minutes of running, I already felt DEAD. I was so disappointed and frustrated that I strongly considered dropping out. But I chose to push myself through it no matter how miserable it was. I just kept thinking, "I wish I knew what was wrong with me." My heart was pounding, and my legs had no energy in them. It was raining really hard, but that didn't affect my running, it only added insult to injury. By mile 8 I felt light-headed. dizzy and nauseous. At times I thought I was gonna pass out or puke, or possibly both. I just forced myself to push through, and really couldn't wait to get to the finish line. When I saw photographers, I would cover up my bib number. I don't need pictures of me looking like that. 

Finally the race ended, and I made a depressing walk in the rain back to meet Elmtree at her car. The only upside to this race was getting to spend some time with her and Tizzy. Here are the splits....

Mile 1- 8:21
Mile 2- 8:33
Mile 3- 8:51
Mile 4- 9:18
Mile 5- 9:15
Mile 6- 9:40
Mile 7- 9:59 (I think this and mile 8 were slightly off)
Mile 8- 8:34
Mile 9- 9:53
Mile 10- 9:45
Mile 11- 9:40
Mile 12- 10:30
Mile 13- 9:48
0.1- 1:00
FINISH- 2:03:13

I just don't get it, a month ago I ran a 1:36 half marathon, and dropped a 6:40 last mile. Today made me feel completely inadequate. I am dropping out of the marathon and giving up on running for a while. 

I just can't imagine my life without running. It was so much more than just a hobby- it was a huge aspect of my identity, and part of what defined me. There will a big void in my life without it.