2017 United NYC Half Marathon

Going into this race, I tried not to have any expectations. Being only 3 weeks removed from the Tokyo Marathon, I was not in optimal condition to race. In fact, I was in poor condition. My recovery from the Tokyo Marathon has not gone well. My legs have been tired and I am low on energy. But what's more troubling is that my head hasn't been in a good place either. Tokyo dealt me a bad blow, and I'm still dealing with the disappointment that I experienced on that day. Since that race, I've been lacking enthusiasm and I feel overwhelmed by the thought of enduring another marathon training cycle. While I tried not to have any expectations for yesterday's race, I was hoping for a good performance to help restore my motivation and excitement for training.

On Friday after the expo, I bumped into Meb on the 1 Train. We rode together and talked about recovering from a disappointing race. He gave me some meaningful and inspiring advice, and he encouraged me to keep moving forward. Meb is an invaluable gift to the running world, and it was an honor to spend this time with him.

My race plan was to start out at a very comfortable effort for the first half of the race, and see if I could gradually get faster in the 2nd half for a strong finish. At 6:00am I met up with my teammate, Steve, and we walked to the start line. Despite plenty of pre-race speculation, the weather ended up being manageable. It was 33 degrees with winds that would be at our back for most of the race.

The gun went off and it was very congested, but I was fine with that since I wanted a conservative start. The start of the race loops through Central Park, and while it was nice being in familiar territory, the hills made for a challenging and uneven effort. I moved through the first 4 miles at 6:50-7:00 pace. That pace that should have felt easy since it's close to my marathon pace. But the lack of recovery from Tokyo was noticeable here. 6:50 pace required far more effort than I would have liked. By mile 5 I started having flashbacks to Tokyo and I developed anxiety about crashing. I became very worried that I wouldn't be able to hold this pace and I might fall apart. I just tried to relax, focus on my breathing, and have faith in my abilities.

Around mile 6 we exited the park. At this point I got a nice boost of energy and I was ready to start pressing. I quickened the pace and was feeling decent. I wasn't feeling amazing or anything, but definitely more energetic than before. This part of the race runs south down 7th Avenue. It was pretty neat running through Times Square. At this point I was all smiles and waiving to the spectators that I recognized.

When we turned West on 42nd Street I was blasted in the face with a strong headwind. I tried to draft behind some bigger runners, but it didn't help. Fortunately this stretch only lasted for a half mile. Once I got onto the West Side Highway I was cruising. I passed the 8 mile marker and dipped below 6:30 pace. I was passing a lot of people and feeling strong. This was the old me, this is what I love about racing. I started to remember how good it felt to close strong and push through fatigue. It had been so long since I've felt this way.

By mile 9 and 10 I could still tell that the recovery from Tokyo was holding me back. On fresh legs I'd be absolutely hammering these miles, but under the circumstances, all I could do was try to hold onto the faster pace of 6:25-6:30. I was still a little nervous about crashing, but by mile 11 I knew that I'd survive.

I latched onto a guy from New York Harriers, and we worked together over mile 11 and 12. This was a big help and enabled me to deal with the intense fatigue.

With one mile remaining I was ready to rock. I surged hard! I was flying by people and pouring everything I had into the finish. I passed my friend Jeremy who jokingly yelled something derogatory at me. It made me push even harder! I kicked to the finish with everything I had, and despite the searing pain, I loved every second of it. I ran the last mile in 5:35.

As always, it was a pleasure seeing my teammates both on and off the course. They pushed me to run harder and it was great catching up with everyone at the post-race brunch.

Overall, this race was a positive experience that I desperately needed. The Tokyo marathon was only 3 weeks ago, and I'm certainly not recovered from it. In yesterday's half marathon my body had no "pop" and it noticeably held me back. On fresh legs I know that I'm capable of so much more than 1:26. That said, this race was encouraging because it reminded that I'm still capable of running strong. It helped spark some of the enthusiasm that Tokyo snuffed out. I'm looking forward to reaching a point where I'm 100% recovered so that I can resume working towards my goals. 

2017 Tokyo Marathon

My goal for this race was to qualify for the Boston Marathon by running a few minutes under 3:10. Based on my recent racing and training, I thought this was a very realistic goal. In fact, I couldn't have asked for a better training season. My coach, Neely Spence Gracey, put together a carefully thought out plan for me, and the results were outstanding. I stayed 100% healthy throughout the cycle. I was stronger and faster than I've ever been in my life. I felt very confident going into this race. 

Race day conditions were perfect. It was 45 degrees at the start with hardly any wind. While waiting in the start corral I was brimming with excitement and eager to start the race. The gun went off and we were showered with a massive spray of white confetti. 

I had a huge smile on my face for the first mile. I was thrilled that the moment I spent so much time preparing for had finally arrived. The crowds were unreal. At least 4 people deep from start to finish. And not only had I never seen this many people lined on the course, they were going nuts! The enthusiasm they showed filled me with energy. 

I was completely relaxed and comfortable through the first 10 miles. I was moving along at a 7:00-7:05 pace and felt amazing! I was sticking to the plan almost to the second. My energy level was high and I was certain that I'd finish strong and achieve my goal. At this point in the race I thought to myself, "after all the years of frustration and disappointment, you're finally going to do it!"

At Mile 11 I saw my friend and host, Nao, who was there to cheer for me. I threw up a fist and cheered right back at him. I was pumped!!

I hit the half in 1:32:35, right on pace. I was exactly where I wanted to be and feeling great. But by mile 14 some fatigue started to set in, and at mile 15 I started to fade a bit. I still kept an even pace from miles 15-18, but I had to work much harder for it. 

By mile 18 I knew that I was in trouble. I slowed down to a 7:30-7:40 pace and thought maybe I could hang on and still finish under 3:10. I thought about all the people back home cheering for me and about how desperately I wanted to go to Boston. But the mental encouragement could only get me so far, eventually my failing body took over. 

By mile 20 I was running on fumes. I was still trying to salvage the race and make the most of it, but by mile 21 I crashed. My body completely shut down. I had no energy left and could do nothing but walk. I was shocked and devastated. I couldn't believe this was happening to me. I tried to run, even at a snail's pace, but after a few seconds of running, my body said "NO!" and forced me to walk again. 

I must have looked horrifying because every few minutes a medic tried to pull me off the course. But I refused to go with them. I insisted on moving forward. I was dizzy, light headed, exhausted, and close to losing consciousness. A sane person would have stepped off the course and called it a day. 

I trudged along with whatever I could muster (and it wasn't much). I shuffled and stumbled my way forward. Cramping in my legs caused my muscles to lock up in searing pain, and nausea made my stomach wretch. After an hour and a half of pure misery, I finally crossed the finish line in a time of 3:46. Suffering like that for so long was one of the most excruciating experiences of my life. 

It was difficult knowing how many people were watching me and pulling for me. I'm so grateful for the support, yet I can't help but feel like I've let people down. I'm also bothered by the mentality of "you're nothing more than your race time." I can't help but feel like I am somehow held in a lower esteem because of this failure. But ultimately I hope I'm judged for who I am as a person and not my finish times. 

Along those lines, it's important that I stay focused on maintaining internal motivations for running. The support of the running community is an amazing thing. But it can also lead to running for reasons that are superficial in nature. It's easy to lose sight of the fact that I should be running for myself, not for the approval or validation of others. 

While I am heartbroken by the result of last week's race, this sport would not be as meaningful without the failures and challenges it presents us. I've experienced many more setbacks than victories in running. I've been crushed and devastated over and over. Yet the thought of walking away has never crossed my mind. To borrow a quote from Kara Goucher, "Nothing in my life has ever broken my heart the way running has. And yet I cannot breathe without it."

Special recognition needs to go out to Perry and Nao. Perry has been a supportive training partner since I joined the Whippets, and it has been so much fun sharing this adventure with him. He has faced setbacks of his own in striving for this goal, and I'm very proud of him for achieving it. Nao has absolutely blown me away with his generosity and hospitality. He took us into his home in Tokyo, and was an invaluable tour guide. He translated for us, helped us order the most delicious food, and gave us an insider's look at his spectacular city. Our trip was enhanced immeasurably because of him. 

I did not allow the disappointing race to impact my enjoyment of this trip. Exploring Japan has been an amazing vacation and tremendous adventure. This was truly the journey of a lifetime. Moving forward, I will go back to the drawing board to come up with a plan. I'll need some time to recover both physically and emotionally, but it won't be long before I'm on the road to Boston again.